It Is Not Logical But I Understand
by PHXYote
Summary: Traveling to New Vulcan, Spock Prime meets a scientist who was well-known in his reality. They discover some shared friends. Rated T for language only. Just a little piece that occurred to me one day. Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**It Is Not Logical But I Understand**

Chapter 1

Spock Prime entered the space cruiser prepared to begin the rest of his life—one that, he reckoned, had already seen his death, rebirth, and re-emergence in another reality. What more could one anticipate?

Meeting his younger self in an alternate reality was odd but in a way enlightening, and even—he could admit to himself, and to she who had been his wife had she still lived—entertaining. She knew him better than anyone, even Jim Kirk. It was even enjoyable speaking with young Spock. In this different reality, Commander Spock had made choices he hadn't seriously entertained. But then, this Spock had already had a childhood so very different from his own painful memories and a very large part of him rejoiced in this.

Of course, this reality had seen the destruction of Vulcan—something he could never have imagined. It was even more catastraphic than the death of some 400 Vulcans who perished aboard the USS Intrepid-by a massive amoeba of all things-back in 2268. The shock he felt as the Intrepid died—that was the only way he could describe it at the time—was nothing compared to the hundreds of times he'd witnessed Vulcan's destruction, over and over again. It did something to him, destroyed his sense of who he was, maybe even his katra.

Enough. It was done. Now all he could do was help resettle the remaining Vulcans on a new planet. He was old, but he hoped he could still be of assistance in some way. He tried to convey this to Ambassador Sarek, his sort-of-father. The Vulcan was nearly spent—understandably—after witnessing the death of his own wife and his son's overwhelming grief. Spock—the younger one—was still in his extended Vulcan adolescence, much as he had been when he'd met his own wife, a Human serving on that other Enterprise.

Sarek suggested that Spock could perhaps work with elder Vulcans like himself, who found themselves utterly alone after losing their mates and children. For telepaths like Vulcans, being truly alone was devastating. He knew that, had felt it hundreds of times. Only now he was just beginning to adjust to not having to constantly witness his planet's destruction.

Spock mused over young Commander Spock's choice of companion. He'd known Nyota Uhura, of course, and liked her well enough. As the only woman among an otherwise all-male command crew, she broke barriers with her intelligence, dedication to duty, toughness, and enormous likability. At least half the men on the Enterprise and a good deal of the women, Christine once told him, had huge crushes on her.

Nyota flirted with him, in a friendly sort of way. She liked to sing when he played his lyre and sometimes even touched him, something they both enjoyed as a kind of amusement. Spock didn't often tease his Human crewmates but even he realized that the sight of a most attractive woman officer sweeping her hands over his shoulders shocked the crap out of most of them, according to Jim. He always reacted by smirking and lifting an eyebrow. It was usually enough to send the Ensigns a-twitter, as McCoy liked to say.

But this Spock was intent on _bonding_ with Nyota, who was completely different than the Nyota he knew. In fact, she was more like his own wife, who he didn't think young Spock even knew. He had learned that in this reality, she was currently working on New Vulcan to help newcomers settle in. He wasn't sure what her role was but he intended to find out. He would, though, stay away. It would be illogical to interfere with her life in this reality.

Spock's reveries were interrupted by a young Human man slumping into the seat next to him. He and the man nodded to each other. The man wore desert-style fatigues and boots and looked to be in his early 30s? He had a mop of curly brown hair and hadn't shaved. He pulled one of those PADDs everyone had from a dirty backpack and dictated a message:

"Hey, Chrissie, it's me. Just wanted to let you know I'm on the shuttle to New Vulcan or whatever they're gonna call it. It's, uh…um…10:30 in the AM here in San Fran, and we should be taking off in about 30 or so. I think. I dunno, I'm so tired I can't think straight. Yeah, about 10:35, this is supposed to take off at 11:00 or eleven-hundred since everyone's using military time anyway. Anyways, should be there in two days from now, meaning from here, at um…"

He looked at Spock. "Excuse me, sir, could you tell me what time we arrive?"

"1400 local time."

"Thanks, man. Uh, sir."

He continued. "We get in 1400 local time, that's like 2 pm to us. So, Chrissie, I'll see you then, hope you have a good coupla days. If you can meet me at the station, that'd be great but if you can't, no sweat, I'll just take a cab. If they have them. Uh, of course they would, not having cabs would be illogical right?"

He must have sensed Spock's slight amusement and cleared his throat. In a much lower voice he probably intended to not be overheard, he added "Love you more than you could know Chrissie. See you in two days. Bye for now!"

Spock thought it was rather sweet. _She_ would have thought so.

The young man glanced his way before putting the PADD back into his backpack, giving him an awkward grin. "My fiancée," he explained.

Spock nodded. "Indeed." He gave the man a tiny smile.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The young Human tried not to look too amazed by the sight of a Vulcan smiling at him, well, sort of smiling at him. He'd just left Chrissie a long-winded message, the type she told him made her laugh and helped her keep her spirits up. She was witnessing so much sadness, she'd told him, on the new Vulcan planet the Federation had established as a base for survivors. Chrissie was among hundreds of students from around Terra who were volunteering a few weeks of their time on New Vulcan to help out.

The Vulcan sitting next to him seemed to be one of those older survivors he'd heard about. Over the years, many Vulcans had settled on satellite planets Vulcan had claimed in a kind of defensive mode against too much Federation interference. Many who moved stayed after their children were grown. It was kind of like Florida or Arizona, he'd once kidded Chrissie. She responded that he was being species-ist.

But lots of younger Vulcans returned home to raise their families and consequently, many of the younger generation were killed. Relatively few were evacuated from the planet on time.

He decided to introduce himself the old Vulcan. "Thanks for giving me the time we get planet side. I've been on so many the past week I hardly remember who I am but I'm pretty sure my name is Roger Korby." He gave the Vulcan salute, or what he hoped passed for one. McCoy was always on his case about doing it wrong when they met up with his Vulcan buddy Spock. Unlike McCoy, Spock was nice enough to never point this out to Roger.

The Vulcan returned the salute. "Spock. A pleasure to meet you Mr. Korby."

Roger started. "Hey, I know another Vulcan named Spock."

The Vulcan gave him that little smile again. "Indeed?"

"Yeah. I guess it's a common name, like mine was—oh, about 300 years ago?" He let out a soft laugh. "_No one_ names their kid Roger anymore."

"It is not that common, but the original Spock was a philosopher whose writings influenced Surak, who you may know founded modern Vulcan culture."

"Yes. I've been to Vulcan to see a friend staying in Shi-kahr."

"You are a friend of this Spock?"

"Yeah, well, not close but we know each other long enough. We have this friend in common. My college roommate, who's now serving with Spock. He was studying at the VSA med school some years back. He's a doctor…well, obviously he is, if he was at the med school. I stopped over to see him when I was coming back from Delta Vega."

"Are you also in Starfleet, Mr. Korby?"

"Me? Oh hell, no. They wouldn't take someone like me. I'm amazed they took my buddy. He would've been kicked out for insubordination by now but he's a really, really good doctor so they put up with him. Plus Spock is his CO. I'm too…ah, what's the word. Impulsive. I mean, don't get me wrong, Starfleet's great and all that but no, I'm no military guy. I work in geomedicine."

"Fascinating field. I am familiar with it. I once knew someone who was engaged to a geomedical researcher and had in fact been one herself for some time."

"Yeah? Who? I might know them."

"Oh it was a very long time ago." The Vulcan's eyes seemed sad. Roger was silent. The poor old guy had probably lost tons of family and friends. He had started to scan some of the names on the death lists looking for Vulcans he knew, but it was still too painful to look that hard for names you _didn't_ want to find.

Roger had been floored to hear from McCoy that Spock had beamed off Vulcan literally moments before it exploded. He'd beamed down to rescue his parents and a few other members of the Vulcan Council who still lived. McCoy told him that Lady Amanda hadn't made it but Ambassador Sarek had. Spock, he said, was taking it very badly.

He was immensely sad to hear this news. Lady Amanda and the Ambassador had been very kind to him when he'd visited Shi-kahr. VAS had in fact funded some of his research and the Ambassador had written letters of support. He needed to know if his VAS benefactors had been off-planet—there was a good chance they were—and to let them know he was ready to assist them however he could.

"I grieve with thee," he said quietly to Spock, who turned and nodded his acknowledgement.

Roger leaned back in his seat, buckled himself in for takeoff, and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

When he awoke, the old Vulcan was gone, probably to a private cabin to nap or meditate. Roger unbuckled himself, rose and stretched, and headed for the dining area. He was hungry enough to eat the crap United Shuttles served. _It's only for a couple of days, _he reassured himself.

He selected salad, plain pizza, and a glass of cheap red wine and headed for a small table. Around him were lots of elderly Vulcans and a handful of younger adults, a few with small children and infants. It was pretty quiet, just a low murmur of talk. His Vulcan wasn't good enough to understand and he didn't want to eavesdrop anyway.

He knew that many of these people were refugees, being resettled into a place they were expected to now call home. Many of Vulcan's satellite planets had been evacuated or residents opted to leave, as Vulcan no longer existed to supply them. Few were self-sufficient enough on their own.

"May I join you, Mr. Korby?" He looked up and saw Spock.

"Of course." He rose and took Spock's tray from the old Vulcan's trembling hands and set it down opposite him. "I must have really been out to not notice you leave."

"Yes, you were in a very deep sleep." Spock's voice regained a little of that amused tone. "Mr. Korby, I kept something from you. I've met your friend Spock and I'm going to guess that the doctor of whom you spoke is Leonard McCoy?"

Roger's eyes widened. "Yeah, that's right! So…you know 'em too, huh? Are you a relative of Spock's?"

"In a matter of speaking, yes." Spock took a few bites of his meal and drank some water. Roger went ahead and started attacking his salad and pizza.

"Mr. Korby-"

"Ah, call me Roger."

"Then you must call me Spock."

"And what if we are with the other Spock?" Roger couldn't help himself.

Spock's eyes glittered a bit. "Then we will call him Commander?"

"No way. I'll call him Speck. It's an old joke. So, what are you, his uncle?" _Great-great-uncle is more like it_, he thought.

Spock decided not to pursue this. "No," he said, "I met Spock through an accident of…you could say, travel."

Roger froze. H put his fork down and stared at Spock. "Oh…my…god…you're the time traveler." He stated it rather than asked. He'd heard rumors. When he'd been able to contact McCoy, he'd asked about it. McCoy wasn't talking, though. All he'd confirm was that a time traveler had been pursued by that lunatic Nero, who blamed him for Romulus' destruction in another reality and destroyed Vulcan in revenge. And he'd sworn Roger to secrecy—he couldn't even tell Chrissie.

"I'll tell Chrissie about that Orion girl," McCoy had threatened, referring to an unfortunate lapse in judgment that had happened a really long time ago when Chrissie had dumped him. _She _thought he was after _Andrea_, his teaching assistant. It took some convincing to persuade her that Andrea was actually a preoperative transgendered person, totally harmless, although she was pretty hot if you could be objective and as a scientist, of course he was objective. So should Chrissie, he pointed out at the time.

"You're another…Spock," he thought aloud. "Oh…my…god…what are you going to do? Can you go back?"

Spock shook his head. "I think not. And I do not wish to risk it by finding another Nero who will follow me and destroy another Vulcan in yet another reality."

"Can you talk about…the other world, uh, other reality?"

"I do not know. I do not wish to make anyone change their history because of what happened in another reality."

Roger nodded. "I can understand that. That's logical, even to a Human."

"Sometimes, Roger, logic isn't always the answer. Sometimes you _should_ do what feels right. And to me, it is logical to try to contain any more damage I could bring to other realities. So I will stay and try to do what I can to preserve what is left of my culture."

Roger was silent and looked down at his food for a few moments. Then he looked up back at Spock. "This is not your fault."

"Yet I cannot help but feel it is."

"No. It isn't. Nero was illogical. Trying to get away from Nero was totally logical. That he'd be _able_ to chase you into another dimension is something you could not have possibly foreseen."

"I calculated a possibility of .029%."

"And what should you have done? Let him stay to destroy more planets and more life where he was? He _shouldn't_ have succeeded in destroying Vulcan. That he did is nothing but...awful, horrible, but not your fault. Evil is what's illogical."

"I shall consider this."

They continued to eat in silence for a few minutes. Roger drained his wineglass. "There's something else."

"What is that?"

"_You_ knew the other me back there."

Spock tried his best blank look. "I did not."

"Really."

"Really. I did, however, know _of_ you. Roger Korby was a famous geomedical researcher in my reality."

"I'm glad to hear he wasn't some crazy mad scientist."

Spock was silent.

"Oh, shit, I—he—_was_ a mad scientist?" He thought for a moment. "In a way, that's kind of cool. But—I didn't—or did he—hurt anyone? Was he also _evil_?"

"No. I did not believe that the historic Roger Korby was an evil man. His memory was manipulated, perhaps, to achieve what was evil but his intentions were never meant to be used to harm others."

"You mean, he created something that got twisted into a weapon? Like what Nero did with red matter?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes. But history proved that Dr. Roger Korby was not himself an malevolent man. Quite the opposite. He did ground-breaking research that earned him posthumous awards and was greatly respected."

Spock stopped to take a gulp of water. "So I presume I am now speaking to _Dr._ Roger Korby?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Roger was intensely curious.

Not only was this old guy _the_ time traveler, but another Spock! Which meant there was another McCoy and oh man, not another Scotty. That guy was _insane_. In a good way. And he rather liked Scotty's weird little gremlin sidekick. What was his name?

Oh yeah, Keenser. Funny little dude.

OK, Roger. Focus. Time travel, a topic he told Christine was ridiculous. Turns out she was right after all.

Spock was looking at him curiously as all these unrelated thoughts whipped around in his brain. "Sorry, man, uh Spock. My mind kinda wanders. If it isn't science, that is. It got me in a lot of trouble when I was a kid."

"Roger," Spock said slowly, "is your fiancée Christine Chapel?"

"Yes. Did you know her—or another Christine Chapel?"

Did he ever. What should he answer? The truth could upset this young man who was at least as volatile as the McCoy from his reality. Well, maybe he could tell him some of the truth.

"I did know Christine. In my reality, she served on the Enterprise."

"As what—a science officer?"

"No, but she had a background in science. She came to the Enterprise to work in the sick bay."

"Wow, well, heh, that's different. My Chrissie is finishing up a biochem doctorate."

"She served under Dr. McCoy."

"In-ter-est-ing. And were they a couple?"

"No."

"So she was what, an MD?"

"No, a nurse. But not always. She apparently trained in nursing before pursuing hard science and worked with Roger Korby. She joined Starfleet for one reason: the Korby in our reality went missing. She wanted to get on a deep space mission to get near a planet called Exo III."

"Whoa there. I've been on Exo III, got out just before the…tragedy. It's now quarantined."

"I did not know that."

"What happened to me…him, the other Roger, on Exo III?"

Spock almost sighed. "He was murdered."

Roger leaned back. "_Fuck_. Murdered! _Fuck_!"

"Dr. Korby, can you control your language, there _are_ children about."

"You're telling me that I—or someone who was me—was murdered!"

"Yes, Christine was most shocked and distressed. We all were. As I said, _that_ Dr. Korby was quite renowned. And I may add, used only the most logical word choices."

"And he was fucking killed! On Exo III! Well shit, guess who won't be going back there anytime soon."

"You just said it is quarantined."

"Yeah, there are some reports that it may have received some radiation from the Vulcan blast."

"Does anyone reside there?"

"No, we evacuated the research teams."

"Were there any…androids there?"

Roger almost snorted. "Androids! No, there were no _androids_ there."

"Do androids exist in this reality? I have seen some robotics but nothing like what I've seen in my reality."

"Oh, there's this couple, the Soongs, who say they can create androids that are just like real people but from what I hear, the best they have basically act like little kids. I say, just as well. The whole android thing creeps me out. Chrissie says they can be useful but I'm like, no way, whoa, too unnatural."

Spock looked relieved. "I am glad to hear this. The androids we came across had the best of intentions but acted otherwise."

Roger turned serious. "Why did you ask if there were androids on Exo III, Spock?"

"I do not wish to discuss this."

Roger was silent. Then it came to him. "I was iced by a fucking _android_?"

"Dr. Korby, I must ask you once again to control your emotions and consider the families—"

"That's it! I am not going to take another _credit_ from those crazy Omicrons. No matter how much they wave at us."

"I can understand your concern but your language-"

"I mean, _shit!_"

Roger took a bite of pizza. It was getting cold but he needed to put something in his stomach, to get his head on straight. Androids! Never trusted the whole crazy idea.

"Spock."

"Yes, Roger?"

"What happened to Chrissie after I—he—died. Did she ever get married?"

"Is this important to know?"

"It is to me. I'd hate to think Chrissie—_any_ Chrissie—never met someone else. I've even told her that if something happens to me not to spend her life by herself. You know, with all this crazy space travel I do and all." It was the most serious speech Spock had heard from Roger so far.

"She did, Roger. She married, eventually, and was happy. But she did mourn for you, deeply."

"Who'd she marry?" Roger took a long drink of wine. If not McCoy, then who?

Spock was silent.

"Oh my god. _You_!"

Spock said nothing.

"You _better_ have been good to her."

Spock nodded. "I believe I was. I can say that she was…the best person I ever met. I had always looked up to her, even when I was her superior officer. At first, the emotions she stirred in me confused me…so I kept my distance. I had been promised to another. And she was mourning Korby. Even after my wife divorced me—"

"Wait a minute. Vulcans divorced in your time?"

"It was extremely rare."

"Lucky you, huh."

"I was lucky to have Christine."

"So am I. What did you do on the Enterprise?"

"I was the First Officer and the Chief Science Officer."

Roger grinned at him. _So much like Jim_.

"At least Chrissie stays with the same type. Science guys. Like us." He lifted his glass. "To Chrissie."

"To Christine."

"Spock?

"Yes, Roger?"

"She's marrying _me_ in _this_ reality. _I'm_ her man. You understand that, right?"

"It is not logical but I understand. I wish you the same happiness I had with _my_ Christine."

_fin_


End file.
